It's been a while-2

Hey there!

One month until I arrive in Auckland.
My mood changes pretty much every other day. Today I feel that the world is mine and can't wait to hug all Kiwi birds of New Zealand (usually it happens after watching a few youtube videos about NZ or maori). Tomorrow I want nothing and doubt my decisions (happens after looking at my thesis, booking dogs visits to vet etc)
So I can't really say if I'm excited to go to NZ or not. I haven't realized it yet. Other people seem to be more excited for me in fact :)

Generally the situation is following:

1. Flight booked (see a separate post about it later) on the 29th of January. I arrive in Auckland on January 31st.
2. Dogs flight and quarantine is somehow in progress. Somehow because the Finnish shipping company doesn't allow to book more than 21 days in advance :(
3.Hotel in the center for the first week - booked.
4.Apartment in the city center where they would let me in with a dog for a long period - not found, but it doesn't look too bad. Basically, there's no use to stress now, as apartments are being offered and taken and offered again all the time, and nobody will keep it for you until arrival.
5. Job wise: working on the resume. Still interested in one particular medical company, should let them know about myself shortly. Also found a couple of cool professional volunteer positions. Generally, looks like there's a lot of fish in my narrow plastics field. So far feels quite positive.
6. Bank account opened in BNZ (Bank of New Zealand) by submitting a form online.
7. Started packing! Looks like I will have 2 bags of 30 kgs each plus a 10 kg hand luggage bag. Not so bad.
8. Thesis, courses - still writing and working on, have to submit everything by the 21st of December. My boss started to ask about my progress more often - not good.
9. Started going to the gym again - i hate those NY/Christmas holidays :D

Happy/Sad,

Lena

2.1.2013

Not just another update

*I decided to keep these personal updates in case somebody feels the same later, because what i have read on forums so far was a pure positive thing, and i start thinking that something is actually wrong with me.

Most preparations are done by now. I booked a hotel in the city for one week (see a post later), booked excess luggage service (a post coming as well). Friends will come to pick me up from the airport in Auckland. Everything for the first days in NZ seem organized, BUT.

Finland will be left in 4 days, and i will be in Auckland in less than a week. How does it feel? - everybody asks me again and again. 

It does NOT feel good. Let me explain why.

I don't have a general feeling of missing the country and friends yet. May be it's coming later, but rather it's just me who lost pretty much an ability to miss for real. Too many places changed, too many people gone. Then again my friends seem very interested about NZ and I put my hopes that people will visit me every now and then.

The actual bad feeling i have had for about a week-two now (that is exactly when i realized for the first time that i'm leaving) clearly comes from the stress. Even though I started packing and booking and etc in advance (i can be confident now it's an absolute must), obviously, there are small things popping out constantly when you are less ready. Like a snowball it grows bigger and bigger.

I'm not a kind of person who stresses to much about life, and one of my favourite lines is "everybody's alive, it's the most important", however, the last week has driven me completely crazy.

A good excuse way to over-come the stress, i believe, is to realize that if some things will be unfinished by the time you leave, well, that's life. May be you don't need them too much, or may be you can finish them later?

Sounds simple but we do have exceptions. Yesterday night I found out that one of my dogs, Chiquita, has a small positive titer for one of the blood test. Can you imagine it was the last test we had to do?

Just one night changed a lot and i guess i was not ready for that!

To cut a short story off, the dog will stay at my friend's in Finland for a month and a half and will undergo additional tests. Basically, the whole process of preparing the dog will start from scratch. And I won't be even here. 

Yesterday I cried a lot (a week of sleepless nights and "foodless" days pays back). I was totally destroyed and if not for certain responsibilities I have, I would have returned my flight ticket last night. I swear. For sure.

Mom helped me to get back to life. She knows it's impossible to make me feel better by suggesting good ways and simply saying it will be okay. Instead, she dramatizes the situation like 10 times until I notice that it's actually not that bad like she describes. And it helps a lot, in the end i always come to a conclusion that the problem can be solved.

I don't know, it feels very strange to be excited not. May be it's exactly because everybody around is just much more looking forward than me.

Anyways, never-mind the odd post. It's terribly stupid to complain about life when you are moving from February to July. What ever! Life is beautiful ;)

Blablabla,

Lena

24.01.2013